Family? You Choose?

Marriages and families of old have changed in so many ways while growing up and since I have grown to be an adult. However, I believe that these couples faced similar struggles as they do today but dealt with less distractions to pull them away from the principles and plans of Jesus Christ. Apostle Paul often taught about family relationships as focused on in scriptures, like the first four in Ephesians 6:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth, 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Today marriages are faced with separation/divorce, cohabitation and nonmarital childbearing. Since many couples of old chose to keep the family together, they worked through circumstances relying on scripture and supportive mentors; fathers and mothers of the faith that could lead and guide them using Biblical truths. Prayer was a major component! Today, oftentimes, couples choose to move on with their lives without waiting on and seeking God’s plan for them. It takes a village, and we need one another to survive. 

I remember growing up in our community with such a reverence for family. The neighbors supported and watched out for each other’s children. If they saw you doing or acting in a way that would cause your family to be ashamed, or you to be harmed, that individual would handle it as if they were your parents but before you got home, your parents knew all about it!

Our father wasn’t just a figure head in our home but a joint contributor of the family as we owned and farmed the land with many decisions that were collectively made by both parents about us including them working outside of our home as we got older. Relatives and friends in high school had similar arrangements in that their father lived in the home with them and their mother. This was perceived to me to be natural. However, it was not until college that I realized this was not a natural phenomenon. Many families did not have a father living in the home and individuals would ask me if all seven of my siblings had the same father. The Census Bureau described family households as two or more individuals who are related by birth, marriage, or adoption, although they also may include other unrelated people (prb.org). When I went away to school, I learned to appreciate our humble lifestyle and didn’t even recognize that we were poor. Mom attended college for two years and had a love for education, she encouraged us to always read because books could allow us to travel around the world even if not physically. She chose to give up her plans for college and follow those God had set for she and her husband to start their family on a farm, which she knew nothing about. Love was that dynamic, to give up one’s desire.

Another thing I learned from my parents was to always support and to be there for my siblings, we were not allowed to fight and were reminded that all we really have is each other. As adults, we remain a close-knit family to the legacy of our parents, their farm rental property and all they have left us and from the teachings of Jesus Christ.  

How have the decisions you made contributed to the dynamics of your family? Are they stronger or weaker? Share your reflections of the family, how has it helped you grow? Your children?